My Observation on Ghost Month

To me, the 7th month in the Chinese lunar calendar is always full of eerieness.

From my observation, there will be a lot of deaths, especially in the first and last few days of the month. That's why older folks need to take extra precaution.

In a residential area near my house, there were two deaths, just a few houses apart, on the first day of 7th month this year.

Also, I feel that there are extra accidents in this month, and some very freaky type too. And in 2006, there will be TWO 7th months! Be careful!

Talking about deaths, it's quite contagious. Once somebody dies, there will ALWAYS be somebody living nearby who will go as well.

I used to joke that the deceased needs mahjong kaki, but that's not funny, right? =)

Recently, in a bad year, there were THREE deaths along my street. They were months apart, but they all happened within that calendar year.

My neighbour told me that some time in the late 1950s, something similar happened. Three of our residents also died within a year.

Eerie, isn't it? Wonder when the next cycle will be ..........

Related post:
I Felt a Presence ....

Update 03 ~ How To Get Back My $$$?? ~ 50% back

As my friend promised, he did return MYR1000 to me at the end of July.

He informed me he'll be returning it on 25th or 26th July, when he was on leave, but he only managed to return on 27th July. Although 50% of the loan is returned, I didn't like it that he delayed it.

If it were me, when I say 25th means I will do it on the 25th whether it rains or shine, even if it kills me to do it.

I guess, one type of rice produces 100 types of people and I cannot expect everyone to be like me. I get disappointed ALL the time when people do not turn out the way I expected them to.

But I guess, most importantly, half the loan is back and I am relieved as I have other pressing obligations to meet.

And I also am thankful that this friend did not turn out to be as bad as he seems to be. For awhile there, I had self-doubts on my judgement on human character.

I thought I dropped my specs.

Chronological list:
How To Get Back My $$$??
Update 01 ~ How To Get Back My $$$??
Update 02 ~ How To Get Back My $$$??

One In A Million

It's Friday. Tonight is the night we'll know which two contestants will be voted out of "One In A Million". It will be the end of the road for them while the rest get to continue deaming of that MYR1 million and the fame and glory. After all, fame and fortune come together.

Please, please, please don't let Faizal Tahir be one of the two casualties. He's too good looking to be out. *ahem* skin colour has no relevance when it comes to good looks hahaha

I remember there was an Indian guy by the name of Ash(win) in Malaysian Idol II, and I thought he's got this cool looking style (gaya) and he subsequently went on to win a sub-title in some Bachelor of the Year pageant. HHmm I've got evil eyes for men's beauty lah.

Who else do I want to remain in the competition? It's Suki. And maybe Dayang, although Dayang is such a goody two shoes that she easily comes across as being too boring. Maybe she needs abit of spicy scandal in her life, like having an elicit affair with a Tan Sri, or something and then she will definitely stand out hehehe Am I evil or what?

Who do I want out? Sad to say, if I have to choose, the first to be out of the competition would be Zai. Is it any surprise? Granted, she has THE voice, very powerful and the envy of lots of aspiring singers but is that enough? Call me biased, but I am looking at this competition objectively and I stress that I have NOTHING against biggie-sized people.

I HAVE BIGGIE-SIZED FRIENDS IN REAL LIFE, OK?

The point is, if I were one of the judges, I would be looking for a package deal. One that could be easily marketed and that means, someone with looks and voice.

But let's face it, how many of such gems are there for us to unearth? So, the next best option is to look for someone with a relatively good voice, plus relatively good looks. And then with some investment (and in this case, it's a cool one million Ringgit), that good looks could be enchanced while the good voice could be polished. And so we have the STAR package!

I can't wait to find out who will be the next millionaire in Malaysia. Is it easy to be a millionaire in Malaysia, or what?

My Mind Is F*ed Once Again

There's this elderly Chinese man who is my neighbour and I've known him like, forever. He must be somewhere in his 70s, or maybe already past 80. I'm not so sure cos he has been looking ancient for a long time now.

A few days ago, I was in town, standing by the five-foot way waiting for my friend and I saw this old man who came in his old junk and parked it right in front of me, but he didn't even notice me.

That street is lined with Wong Fei Hung motels and notoriously known as the street where, how shall I put it, senior GROs *ahem* operate from.

To get on with the story, this old man, after parking his car, literally ran up the narrow stairs to one of those run-down motels.

Oh my, you know, I know la, what he did up there and in broad daylight too. Old grandpa also can be that horny in the middle of the day?

After a few minutes, he came down, touching the zipper of his pants (eeewwww), and then drove off. Once again he didn't notice me, cos this time, I hid myself behind a huge, fat pillar.

Now, whenever he drives pass my house, I can't help but imagine him going to one of those motels to offload. I really feel like vomitting. Sh!t, my mind is f*ed again, man.

I've lost all respect for him. So what if somebody told us to respect the elderly and to love thy neighbour?

I'll never look at him in the same light again.

How Superstitious Are You?

Someone dear to me is being played by some power above.

In the West, most people, when purchasing a house, will have to select a piece of vacant land and then choose a home design and get the contractor to build that house, very unlike us here in Malaysia, where most of us only get to buy cookie-cutter type of houses, unless we're in the class of Tan Sri Dato' Seri (Dr) Yeoh Tiong Lay lah.

So we were all very excited when this dear person decided to buy a house, it's her first house and in a foreign land too.

And then the bomb came when her home was assigned an address. And her house number is..... 114. In Chinese, 114 can be translated into "die everyday". What bad omen is that?

Of course, in the West, they say "One fourteen" and not "Yat Yat Sei".

Being Chinese, and quite superstitious too, she didn't know whether to laugh or cry but she came to accept it. We reasoned to her that she can always sell it off, cos no one would be any the wiser, but she said she would keep the house, despite the number, because it's her first house and she had it designed totally according to her taste.

A few months later, her dream home was finally completed, and so she had all the utilities fixed up for the house, including getting a phone line.

And then a second bomb came.

The last three numbers of her home number are 953, which in Chinese means "forever not alive".

Oh my, if it were me, I'd have freaked out. What kind of sick joke is this?

Movies, Movies, Movies .....

....... are calling out to me but I really am hard pressed for time, I really miss my dose of a movie-a-night :-(

These are the movies waiting for me:

My Girl & I (Korean movie)
The Da Vinci Code
Dodgeball
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
The Exorcism Of Emily Rose
The Shaggy Dog
Goong Special --> Still waiting for English subtitles

All In (Korean drama) --> Still not even started Episode 1 yet - argghhh!!!

Here are the movies that I wish to watch but not in my collection (yet):

The Maid (Thai horror movie) --> friend's recommendation
Water Spirit --> Ya, I like horror
My Life ad McDull --> I like the low IQ Hongkie pig
McDull Prince de la Bun --> I like the low IQ Hongkie pig
Big Momma's House --> Big Momma's House 2 was mighty entertaining
Ice Age 2 --> Liked Ice Age 1
I Not Stupid Too --> I Not Stupid made me cry
Money Not Enough --> I like Jack Neo movies
Liang Po Po --> I like Jack Neo movies
Brokeback Mountain --> To understand my gay friend better
Nacho Libre - Mossie says it's two hours of laughther. I LIKE!

Losing My Objective in Blogging

When I first started, I felt like I finally have an avenue to bring out my deepest thoughts and kill the devil in me. If there's no outlet, these thoughts will turn cancerous and eat me up inside. Or at least that was how I felt.

Anyway, now that the novelty has worn off, I'm wondering, why do I continue to blog? Why do I feel like I HAVE to submit at least a post a day? A post a day keeps the (mental) doctor away?

Do I blog for Adsense? Definitely not. I can't earn that money even if my life depended on it.

It's getting increasingly difficult to keep my identity anonymous. And I'm spending more and more time on the computer and neglecting my real world life. A friend invited me to go bowling with him but I told him I'm busy, and ended up staying in to blog!

But to be frank, I don't think I have the strenght to "carry balls". Every day, I feel like I'm typing hundreds of thousands of words and it seems a neverending task. My fingers feel like they are going to fall off, how to "carry balls" anymore? -.-

Do I really keep my readers, however little there are, entertained? Am I able to? If so, for how long?

I am a retired chatter, a retired forummer and I can just as well, sooner than later be a retired blogger. If this blog is left to drown in an ocean of growing blogs, will anyone miss me?

I Felt a Presence ....

...... beside me in bed!!! It was the second time in a couple of months. People say, in times of stress, the spirit gets weak. I do hope it's just that.... that I'm spiritually weak for NOW, due to stress.

PLUS, I did not wash my feet when I entered the house. It's a Hindu belief that one has to wash his feet upon returning home, before entering the house. But I'm not a Hindu maa....

I was conscious but I felt a vacuum (noisy air) in my ears and my whole body was very stiff (not cramp, ok?), and I was thinking to myself, "Oh Shit, gwai ah!" ["Oh Shit, it's a ghost!"]

That bladdy spirit was rocking my bed, and the motion was like somebody having sex, you know, up-down, up-down.... well, I guess up-down motion is better than left-right lah.

So I was searching my mind for some mantra to chant and my mind was blank. I had forgotten "Namo Omi Thor Futt" or "Om Mani Padme Hung". Haihh I let myself down, man.

Then suddenly, I remembered something and I said in my heart *Bismillah hirRahman nirRahim* which translates to "In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful".

Blimey, I don't know why I remembered that line. I'm not a Muslim. Ahhh the power of television!

The good news is, that line got the spirit off my bed. Well, anything that works, baby.......

My Name is NOT Hung Mo Tan

A reader asked me if my name is Hung Mo Tan. No, it's not, unfortunately. It does sound nice, doesn't it? If I marry Mr. Hung, then I might name my child Hung Mo Tan. hehehe

Actually, Hung Mo Tan is my location. Hung Mo Tan, for the benefit of the non-Cantonese speaking community, means Rambutan.

And how can my location be Rambutan? Well, Rambutan is short for Tanjung Rambutan, which is a town off Ipoh, in Perak.

I don't deny that this is fictitious information. But why Tanjung Rambutan of all places? Well, that's because there's a mental hospital in Tanjung Rambutan and it's called Hospital Bahagia (Happy Hospital). Its former name, during British Colonial days, was Central Mental Hospital.

It's a long running joke between my friends and I that I'm an inmate of the mental hospital. Yes, I'm THAT cuckoo, so beware! And if you read the description I wrote on myself in my Blogger profile, I did warn you about me being a lil' *points forefinger at head making circular motions* and to read my blog not only with a pinch of salt but also with a dash of pepper and chilli sauce.

Know what I'm saying? -.-"

It's Tough Being A Woman

I received this forwarded e-mail recently and I thought, how true it is, and I think being a woman is so much tougher than being a man.

Of course, I don't deny that being male brings another set of problems too, but being a woman, you're expected to be and do all those mentioned below AND MORE!

When God created woman he was working late on the 6th day an angel came by and said: “Why spend so much time on that one?”

And the Lord answered: “Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her ?"

“She must be washable, but not made of plastic, have more than 200 moving parts which all must be replaceable and she must function on all kinds of food, she must be able to embrace several kids at the same time, give a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart and she must do all this with only two hands”.

The angel was impressed. “Just two hands....impossible!“

"And this is the standard model?!"

“Too much work for one day....wait until tomorrow and then complete her“.

“I will not”, said the Lord. “I am so close to complete this creation, which will be the favourite of my heart”.

“She cures herself when sick and she can work 18 hours a day”.

The angel came nearer and touched the woman.

“But you have made her so soft, Lord”

“She is soft", said the Lord, “But I have also made her strong. You can’t imagine what she can endure and overcome.“

“Can she think?" the angel asked.

The Lord answered: “Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate."

The angel touched the womans cheek.... “Lord, it seems this creation is leaking! You have put too many burdens on her.”

“She is not leaking....it’s a tear” the lord corrected the angel

“What’s it for?" asked the angel.

And the Lord said: “Tears are her way of expressing grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride.”

This made a big impression on the angel; “Lord, you are genius. You thought of everything. The woman is indeed marvellous!"

Indeed she is!

Woman has strengths that amazes man.

She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens.
She holds happiness, love and opinions.
She smiles when feeling like screaming.
She sings when she feels like crying, crys when she is happy and laughs when she is afraid.

She fights for what she believes in.
Stand up against injustice.
She doesn’t take “no” for an answer, when she can see a better solution.
She gives herself so her family can thrive.
She takes her friend to the doctor if she is afraid.
Her love is unconditional.

She cries when her kids are victorious.
She is happy when her friends do well.
She is glad when she hears of a birth or a wedding.

Her heart is broken when a next of kin or friend dies.
But she finds the strength to get on with life.

She knows that a kiss and a hug can heal a broken heart.

There is only one thing wrong with her

She forgets what she is worth...

And don't forget, a woman can continuously bleed for five days without dying, so don't play play!

How To Satisfy A Girl?

Young friend: Can I ask you something?

Me: Sure, shoot.

Young friend: Boy-Girl stuff wor.

Me: Ask lah.

Young friend: How much do you know about girls?

Me: I am a girl, right? Of course I know all about girls.

Young friend: I want to know how to satisfy a girl sexually.

Me: ................ *speechless*

Young friend: Don't answer if you feel uncomfortable.

Me: That question ah, you need to ask guys lar.

Young friend: I thought girls should know what a girl wants. You dunno ar?

Me: I dunno.

Young friend: Ask guys, they also dunno lar.

Me: Guys know lar. Who ask you to ask virgins? *giggles*

Young friend: Do girls masturbate, like guys?

Me: ................*speechless*

Young friend: But that satisfies me only, not girl also =.="

Me: Girls who are too free with nothing to do will masturbate.

Young friend: Do YOU masturbate?

Me: I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. Damn dreams not yet come, I gotta wake up already. Sh!t also no time, where got time to masturbate like you?

I Burnt the Pork For Dinner

While I'm no Nigella Lawson, the Domestic Goddess, I can cook if and when the occasion calls for it, and unfortunately, it calls every single day.

However, tonight, to my own disappointment, I let my family down by burning the pork, so much so that the whole dish is spoilt and cannot even be consumed.

I read somewhere that it is bad for health to consume burnt food, so better throw away lor. Can you image how badly I f*cked up the dish that till now, the kitchen stinks of burnt metal? Ya, the wok is gone too :-/

NEVER in my life have I committed such a blunder before. Dunno why tonight my mind was so occupied that I forgot all about my cooking. Not really forget actually, but failed to manage four stoves at a time, like I normally do without any problem.

Sigh.....

As punishment, tonight, I've got to go without supper.

H
U
N
G
R
Y
Y
Y
Y

Oh well, cry also no tears. *hick*

Anyway, here's what happened at the lady vet's clinic this morning:

Me: I wanna buy this (medicine). Three strips please.
General Worker goes into the office to get them. Comes out and tell me it's MYR12 (that means MYR4 per strip).
So I told her, the other day I bought at MYR3 each only.
General Worker: You better come in and talk to the doctor yourself.
So, in I went ........
Me: Doctor, that day I bought this from you at MYR3 per strip.
Lady Vet: Oh, that day I gave you SPECIAL PRICE.
Me: cursed under my breath *t!u*

Related posts:
This Is Not For The Faint Hearted
My "Little Monkey" Is Out Of The Woods ~ YAY!
Dream Diary - 03 ~ Shit! Why Suddenly Dream of Her Wan?

On Blogs and Blogging

I don't know how some bloggers can post so many entries per day. In PPS, you can see their new content being ping-ed every other line. Oh my, I have trouble keeping this blog alive as it is. I TRY to post daily, but sometimes "ink cannot come out". Modern term: "keyboard is stuck". Or "brain juice dried up" hehehe

Besides, where do they find the time? 24 hours aren't enough for me. Or is my time management that bad? Gahhh

I also am a team member of another blog, and I'm so guilty for not pulling my weight over there. My last post there was on 27th June, 2006. GOSH! How time flies. Guilty ~ guilty ~ guilty ~

It amazes me to know that some blogs can get six-figure hit count per month. They have so many stalkers, I guess, that people will go to their blog even when there's no new content.

I know I do that to some of the blogs I stalk. I admit, I stalk three blogs religiously. I do not have an RSS reader (or whatever it's called) and no subscription to notify me of blog updates, so I just access these sites through my bookmark, and inevidently contribute to their hit count :-)

But then, some so-to-say elite bloggers, even if their entry is just ONE miserable three-lined paragraph, can get readers to leave some sort of comment. HHhhmmm is that hero-worshipping or what?

Whheeee Fat4 Pimped My Blog Today

Today, Fat4 of The World of Fat4 pimped my blog. Some of his readers visited my humble blog. I am so paiseh but at the same time, honoured. Hope you guys found some entertainment here, though. By the way, sorry for the big-ass header image. I dunno how to make it smaller. Maybe some slimming pills would help, but they damage liver wor. So gotta live with it.

Anyway, today's post will be random ramblings, thoughts will be flying here and there, so be warned.

Firstly, I'd like to correct Fat4, who said I complained of being insignificant. I corrected him earlier, but he still didn't get it :-/ I WANT to remain insignificant. It's a choice. I was brought up thinking that the world is a piece of twisted shit and all the bad-asses in the world are out to get people by the name of XXX (my name). OK, so I got that line from Howie of The Benchwarmers, which I watched last night. Movie reviewers said it's one of those a-laugh-a-minute kinda movie, but I didn't laugh so much pun. Not easy to make me laugh, you know :-)

But you get my drift about the bad-asses of the world .....

By the way, I think Fat4 should go watch Big Momma's House II. In one scene, Big Momma was in a yellow swimsuit running along the beach. WHOAAA the lump of fat boucing up and down. eeeeeeeee gross-nya! Worse than Fat4's header image!!

Don't get me wrong. I'm not against fat people. I also have my share of fat and unfortunately, they have deposited in all the wrong places. Maybe some more on the chest would be good :-)

Because the fat are in all the wrong places, it's so tough for me to buy clothes. I recently went to a sale, and Diesel and B.U.M. pants and skirts were selling at MYR10 each only *gasp* Unfortunately, Size S was too small, Size M was too large. Poor me :-/

I also have the same problem with shoes. My size? Freaking 6-1/2 Bahhhh! I have two choices. Either buy Size 6 and walk like I'm "growing mango between my legs" due to pain on my feet or buy Size 7 and walk like Ronald McDonald.

I also have a third choice, which is to get made-to-order shoes but where got marnee?

I know some biggie-sized people in real life. One of them is the perpetual MSN nudger. I used to think biggie-sized people are "Jolly Rolly Pollys" but this perpetual MSN nudger has shown me that they can be ultra sensitive.

Once, for want of better things to chat about, I asked him if he has any nice emoticons to send me. So he sent some, which I didn't like at all and told him so. But he lectured that when people give me things, I should say "Thank You" and declared that I'm very ungrateful and likened me to his friend, whom he treated to meals many times, and each time after the meal, that friend would say that the food is not nice to eat at all.

Come on la, how can my dislike for the emoticons be compared to saying that the free food isn't delicious enough? If someone treated me to a meal, I'd thank him left, right and centre. But what's a few emoticons? It's not as if he created them himself. Like that also want to scold me yat charn :-/

That's why la, I keep declining his invitation to dine on roast duck at Tai Thong. So damn sensitive, being with him is like walking on glass. Bah!

I'm bone weary today. I'm carrying two large unbranded PVC bags under my eyes and I've got a huge red volcano on my nose, right in the middle! Awful!

This post is too jumbled, right? But I LIKEEEEEEEEE..... It's longggg.

Dream Diary - 03 ~ Shit! Why Suddenly Dream of Her Wan?

After blogging about this "no touch" vet yesterday, and I thought I could kill whatever devil in me by blogging about it, I suddenly dreamt of her.

In the dream, she was walking past my house, seems like she's one of the neighbours, but in real life, she lives in some posh area (BAH!) and then she saw my "little monkey" and told me, "Although he's already 12 ah, he still looks so healthy. Not yellowish (she suspected jaundice too!)."

And then, in the dream, somehow my dad asked her if she had lunch already yet. And she replied, "Not yet. Lunch on you..."

Geeee even in dream, she's so money-minded! Really beh tahan.

Related posts:
My "Little Monkey" Is Out Of The Woods ~ YAY!
This Is Not For The Faint Hearted

The Dream Series:
Dream Diary - 01
Dream Diary - 02

My "Little Monkey" Is Out Of The Woods ~ YAY!

Thank God! I'm so, so, so relieved. It was really a most horrendous experience. Although I always know that I will lose them one day, when the time comes, I don't think I will be any more prepared than I am now. It just tears me apart to see my "little monkeys" suffer. I wish there's some way for me to take over their pain, instead.

Anyway, the scary incident is over. That blasted a few years off my life.

A few days ago, I met my regular vet. Actually, I don't really like this vet and don't think she has the "touch" but her animal clinic is near my house and it's very convenient for me to get medication for my "little monkey".

She asked me how's my "little monkey" doing, and I replied, "Oh, he's doing fine, thank you."

To be honest, I do not know if I should have told her the truth, that she has failed to cure my pet and that luckily I had the presence of mind to consult another vet, and in just one dose of medication, my "little monkey's" condition improved by leaps and bounds.

When my "little monkey" was under her care, she asked me what was wrong, and I said, "Diarrhea, vomit, fever and lots of gas."

And what she gave was this:

Diarrhea give anti-diarrhea lor
Vomit give anti-vomit lor
Fever give panadol lor
Gas give charcoal lor
Got appetite ar? Then no need antibiotic lah
If no appetite, give enzyme lor

When I told her I'd like to have one course of anti-biotics, just in case, she sold me some and said, "This (anti-biotic) is VERY GOOD!"

Actually, what she did was just treating the symptoms one by one and not looking at the larger picture.

I kept calling her on the phone, even after her consultation hours, cos her medication did not have much impact. Of course, the frequency of diarrhea was reduced but the quality of faeces was very, very poor. And then my "little monkey" went into seizure twice and kept vomitting the whole night through, and when I told her about it, she said, "I gave you the anti-vomit already maaaa."

Hello, you think cannot vomit out the anti-vomit as well ar?

All my life I've kept pets, never do I have any faith in the vets around here. Each time my pets get ill enough to warrant hospitalisation, that very much meant the end of their days on Earth.

I am so suspicious of what the vets did to my pets that they became so much more seriously ill overnight that they died in there, that now I resist getting them to hospital no matter what.

What irked me most was, this vet kept harping on my "little monkey's" age (You have to know, he's already 12 years old, ANYTHING can be wrong with him) and she dares to tell me, "Honestly, I DON'T KNOW what is wrong with him. What you told me of his symptoms, I already dispensed medicine." and also "We have to do a scan on his organs, maybe organ failure and I don't have x-ray eyes. If touch also is guessing game only"

While this vet suspected food poisoning, our second vet, whose clinic is 30 minutes' drive away, suspected infection, and he was spot on.

Wonder how she could survive for so long as a vet.

Related post:
This Is Not For The Faint Hearted

Stupid Yahoo Scares Me :- /

It's bad enough that of all the e-mail accounts I have, Yahoo invites the most spam. Don't ask why, I know not too. It's not that I'm afraid of spam or anything, after all, its Spam Blocker is quite effective, I must admit.

The scary thing is that every time I do a search on the net regarding a specific item, I get a deluge of spam mail on similar products too. For example, if I do a search on Olympus 8080 Wide Zoom, I'd get quite a few unsolicited e-mail on camera or photography. What is worse, some even address me by name!

A few months back, I received a link to a holiday photo album from a friend via Yahoo! Messenger, so I tried to view the photos but couldn't. After some time, I gave up and conveniently forgot about it.

Then one day I met this friend and I asked him, "Hey, what holiday photos you wanted to show me?" He was confused at first, but then casually told me that what I got was a virus.

And I was like, "WHAT????? Now only you tell me???"

My God, that was a lapse of dunno how many months already. Whatever harm it caused, it's too late to even try to rectify. I don't even have any idea if my account has been hacked and misused.

And then, just a few nights ago, I received yet another link to a photo album from another buddy via YM, and I stupidly once again entered my log-in ID & password. Geeee! I'm so dumb I could kick myself!!

Luckily, this time I realised it soon enough and quickly went to change my password.

If Yahoo! Mail wasn't my first e-mail account, I would have deregistered it pronto. But the hassle of informing all my contacts of my new e-mail address and migrating old e-mail! *gasp*

I can't just delete my old e-mail, after all. I'm a sentimental person *sigh*

I'll Always Remain An Insignificant Blogger

Because I do not camwhore and will never post my photos on my blog. My writing isn't even funny either, but that's another post for another day. Oh yeah, I don't know of any femes blogger to tumpang glamour. And only ONE person, besides myself, knows the real person behind this anonymous blog.

Anyway, I don't know how most people can post so many personal photos on the internet without a second thought until even people on the street can recognise them. I mean, we won't know if there are people sickos who saved our photos and do whatever to the photos, maybe TFK or something. Who knows?

I grew up in a really twisted environment and am totally aware of stuff like black magic, voodoo, charm and what-not. These are things we definitely were not taught at school, unless we're Harry Potter lah.

Being aware is one thing, taking precautions is another. Despite steps taken to protect my identity, I recently got to know a guy on the net, and he bladdy found out my home address by just knowing my full name. Scary, isn't it? And he isn't even a big-shot powerful connection-filled guy, just a student only maaa. Cisss

Blank Mind, Random, Jumbled Thoughts

I'm grounded, did not go out of the house since a week ago. Bored like hell, but it's not that I don't have stuff to do. I just am not in the right frame of mind to do them.

Wanted to watch leng chai in All In but no mood lah, sure won't enjoy it or could even concentrate. I have all 24 episodes, but haven't even started the 1st episode. Bahhhh Dare not start, cos once started, I'll chase after the drama like nobody's business.

Someone told me that Lee Byung Hun is leng chai in All In, but I dont think so. I think I prefer the other guy lah. Think his name is Ji Sung. Not to say that Ji Sung is more leng chai than Lee Byung Hun lah, but I dunno lah, maybe I don't like twisted lips, or maybe I prefer chubby faced guys hehehe

Lee Byung Hun's face is not symmetrical and that makes him so "koo wark", which I don't like. And his darker complexion makes him all the more sinister. eeeeee don't like, don't like. Chubby and fair better IF compare the two of them hahaha

~*~ Lee Byung Hun & Ji Sung in All In ~*~

Haihhh I'm going crazy. How sane can I be when I'm trying to converse in Spanish with my friend via SMS? Imagine two Cantonese-speaking Chinese doing that! Luckily I have the internet to check up the words ... I dunno about him though! hahaha

Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures?

A friend in New York City sent me an SMS to let me know that he is all right. I didn't know what was up until I read in the news that a sick physician blew up his townhouse so that his estranged wife cannot get hold of it upon their divorce.

In his suicide attempt, he had injured 15 other people and he himself did not die but wasted taxpayers' money when he directed rescue workers to extricate him from the rubble, via his cell phone.

Oh my, how selfish can a man be? And an educated man no less. Desperate times call for desperate measures? Judge for yourself.

Sick physician's e-mail rantings

Here are excerpts from Dr. Nicholas Bartha's suicide e-mail, in which he bitterly tells of losing his family's home in Romania and rants against estranged wife, Cordula, co-workers and others. A copy of the e-mail was provided to the Daily News late last night by a law enforcement source:

***

WHY DID I DO WHAT I DID?

My mother's death.

She was trying to get back our house in Rosia Montana, Romania, for years. She was told by her doctor not to go because of her condition. She was obsessed to get back our house a life's work, my parents had to pay up my father's brother and sister for their share of the inheritance. Now I understand why my mother was unsuccessful to get back our house. The Rosia Montana Mining Co. and companies from New Jersey and Canada planned to strip-mine for gold, and several villages including Rosia Montana had to be condemned to be strip-mined and to build a huge lake filled with cyanide to extract the gold from the strip mined ore. My mother who died in Rosia Montana was buried there. Now my mother and others from my family who were buried for centuries will be moved. If we had owned the house again which is in the middle of the village would have made it very difficult to implement their plan.

***

My brother died because his wife was able to divorce him with lies and help from N.Y.S., with help of the legal Aid Society, woman's shelters et cetera.

Now my brother is dead and his ex-wife is enjoying his house. I do not know why he worked all his life.

The same thing happened to me but I am still alive.

***

On 1-0/17/01 Cordula, [and daughters] Serena and Johanna left, a few days after the 9/11 disaster Cordula filed for divorce for mental cruelty. If one is a gold digger any lie will do. She never consulted a psychiatrist or priest or rabbi or marriage counselor!!!

She did it after I closed the joint account in which she never deposited any of her earnings and now she could not steal any longer money to send to her accounts in Holland. ...

[A judge] decided to evict me from the house for which my mother, father and myself worked and paid. My parents and I lost out for the second time, as in 1947 in Romania when the communists expropriated our house. ... In Harlem they would say my family's hard work was "Dissed."

***

I can understand if someone wants to divorce it should be easy. There should be no economic incentives in the process! The division of assets should be made, based on the contribution each person. There is no rational explanation for the present method. An automatic division is only giving more incentives to divorce. Cordula did not work for 15 years and still she is supposed to get more than 50%. When slowly she started to work I never saw her money it went to her personal account in a bank in Netherlands. ...

If I had had a prenuptial agreement Cordula would have never divorced, there would have been no economic incentive.

***

The anti-American politicians and others who are against the war in Iraq (the same people who [were] against the Vietnam war)... I hope they will succeed so that the terrorists will move to the states.

So people here will have a taste of suffering as when the East Europeans were given to the Russians by a very sick President Roosevelt at Yalta in 1945. ... I hope most of the country realizes whom Ms. H. Rodham Clinton is and will make sure she will never be a president unless they want to suffer the consequences. I wish President Bush had been at Yalta.

***

The legal system is corrupt, killed my brother and now I. I am not going to let anybody evict me as the communists did it in Romania, in 1947. ... I am not good material to be a slave I rebel easily.

***

Cordula my further staying alive does not make any sense. Work ... is pure punishment. I will lose my office. Getting sick even in the most optimal conditions is not easy. Alone is certainly terrible. ... Life passed me by and I could not achieve everything I planed.

I hope there will be a memorial built on the place in the memory of Eastern Europeans who were betrayed at Yalta by Pres. Roosevelt. There should be place for the Iraqi.

P.S. Fascism = Communism = Politically Correct.

All this political philosophies are based on minority rule over the majority. Unluckily I had experienced all three. The first not directly, only partially, indirectly.

P.S.#2. Ms Cindy Sheehan is desecrating her son's memory. ... She is an opportunist trying to be famous on the back of her son.

Originally published on July 11, 2006

Source: New York Daily News

The Agony of Uncertainty

Have been totally stressed out mentally, physically and emotionally. The agony of uncertainty is really not easy to handle. What will happen next? How will it be? How will it affect me/us? The questions go on and on..........

It's like, we ALL know that one day our elders will leave us for the Other World, but when that happens, is it any easier to cope with and to accept its finality?

I did not sleep for 3 nights in a row. My friend said I sound so dead over the phone. Yeah, maybe I'm "dead". I have no mood to do anything at all. No mood for K-drama & movies. K what? :-/

I used to live on the internet, but nowadays, my PC may be on, but I'm NOT online, so don't wait for me on MSN!

And there are stupid friends who make me feel guilty for not replying to their e-mail. Go F yourself lah.

Some people who are in a stressed situation will eat non-stop but as for me, I cannot eat at all. I finished two sticks of Rolaids in two days, way beyond the recommended dosage of not more than 10 tablets per day.

Oh well, I only saw the instructions AFTER finishing them :( and on top of that, have been popping Zantac 75 and Actal like candy. Anything to keep gastric at bay. Anyway, I'm still alive as of now.

One spare tyre down, many more to go. It's time to make use of my resevoir of fat.

To Claim or To Repay?

The other day, I was talking to a friend about how shitty life has been recently, and I feel unappreciated by certain quarters despite doing my best for them.

This friend told me that I'm forced to do all these shitty stuff to repay my debt to these people, my debt from past life/lives. He said we're the unlucky ones, whilst some lucky devils come into this world to claim.

Being a Buddhist myself, how can I forget such a thing like repayment of debt? I guess I was being too caught up feeling all negative over issues that are out of my control.

Suddenly, everything seems so clear now. Though I have no control over some issues and yet forced to see them through, I can change the way I feel towards things that happen around me.

Every day, I have two choices. I can choose to be in a good mood or I can choose to be in a bad mood. And I want to choose to be in a good mood, cos no one wants the company of a grouch.

Well, at least, this will be my mid-year resolution lah.

This Is Not For The Faint Hearted

I thought I've seen some of the grossest things in life already but I was in for a surprise last evening.

Last evening, I urgently called up my regular vet asking for some medicine for my sick pet, so she asked me to be at her clinic at 8pm, since she'll be there. Normal consultation was until 7pm only.

Anyway, when I reached there, she also just arrived and another family was hurrying into the clinic as well.

To cut the long story short, that family brought in a toy dog, dunno what breed - those with goldfish eyes, with one of its eyeballs dangling out from the socket. This toy dog was bitten by the neighbour's larger dog!

Oh my God, can you imagine the gruesomeness of that sight? I nearly passed out there and then. Here, I myself was worried sick about my own pet and I had to run right smack into such a scenario. What ass luck!

So I also had to wait along with the family, while the vet tried to place the eyeball into the socket again.

According to the vet, the eyeball was already damaged but to place it into the socket is better than having a empty hollow socket, where the eye should have been. Aiyohhh there went my dinner.

Then the family left, since they couldn't do much else for the dog. And it was my turn to discuss with the vet about my pet's condition. She told me to enter the treatment room to discuss while she proceeded to sew up the eye into the eye socket!!! I did not enquire if she was doing micro surgery.

Oh God, I'll NEVER EVER forget that reddish sightless eyeball!

Serendipity

Image ripped from Serendipity3

In the movie Serendipity (2001), Jonathan Trager (John Cusack) and Sara Thomas (Kate Beckinsale) met by chance on Christmas Eve while out shopping for last minute gifts for their respective partners.

They spent a few hours together and found that they have fallen for each other but because of their commitment to their relationship, they couldn't do anything about their new found feelings, and so had to separate.

British woman Sara Thomas believes that if something is meant to be, it will happen no matter when.

Oh what faith she has... but in the end, the two of them had to work really hard to find each other again. A typical Hollywood movie.

A long time ago, I ran into a guy (handsome one laaaa and looks exactly like Gallen Lo) on a few occasions but I didn't approach him directly to get to know him or at least get his contact details. I do not know who were his friends, where he lived or which school he was from.

I don't even know his name, and he'll forever be "Gallen Lo" to me.

I made enquiries among my friends, though. They kept telling me oh, this guy is so-and-so's brother. He looks like Gallen too! Upon looking at photos and school's year book, NO, this isn't him. This isn't him either, and not this, this, this nor this.

Since then, I did not run into him anymore and so..... my connection with him is broken just like that.

This movie also reminded me of a song I loved a long time ago. Here it is:

I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU
Tommy Page / L. Russell Brown

Now is the time we say goodbye
I see a tear start falling from your eye
I hear them call it's time to go
Oh girl I know I'm gonna miss you so

No matter where I go
No matter what I do
Deep down in my heart I'll still be close to you
Cause when the night is long
Still I'll keep holding on
Knowing that you're thinking of me too
I'll never forget you

You stepped away into the night
The pain inside it cuts me like a knife
We'll meet again it's meant to be
Each road you choose will lead you back to me

No matter where I go (where I go)
No matter what I do (what I do)
Deep down in my heart I'll still be close to you
Cause when the night is long (night is long)
Still I'll keep holding on (holding on)
Knowing that you're thinking of me too
I'll never forget you

No matter where I go (where I go)
No matter what I do (what I do)
Deep down in my heart I'll still be close to you
Cause when the night is long (night is long)
Still I'll keep holding on (holding on)
Knowing that you're thinking of me too
I'll never forget you

I'll never forget you
I'll never forget you
I'll never forget you
I'll never forget you

Update 02 ~ How To Get Back My $$$??

It's now already the first week of July and most people already received their paycheques, so I asked my friend if he has made any plans to repay me. I didn't want to ask, but I had no choice since he did not mention it after getting paid.

Anyway, he told me he will pay me back in two instalments (MYR1000 each) from his July and August paycheques.

What I'm worried now is that he is still not a confirmed employee in his company despite the company saying that probation is six months. He started work in January, 2006.

It seems that his immediate boss will only let him know about his position in mid-July.

What if he is not confirmed? Then where will he find the money to repay me? But this friend told me that in Malaysia, once the time frame is up, the employee is automatically confirmed if the company did not let him know his position. Is this true ar?

But I thought an employee drawing salary above MYR5500 (?) per month is not protected under Malaysian Labour Law anymore? How lah then?

*sigh* *sigh* *sigh*

Chronological list:
How To Get Back My $$$??
Update 01 ~ How To Get Back My $$$??

Anything-Oso-Can.LA

Image courtesy of easy.LA

In my random surfing, I came across the above website offering domain names and e-mail addresses ending with DOT LA. One would think the owners are Malaysians, but they are Germans.

Anyway, my imagination went into overdrive, so let's just for a moment pretend that the DOT LA is actually OUR "LAH" so here I suggest a few Malaysianized domain names just for fun.

Here goes, in random order.........(feel free to add in la)

In Manglish
me.la
die.la

got.la

bull.la

shit.la

hell.la
emo.la
cum.la
fuck.la

idiot.la
what.la

quick.la

damn.la

faster.la

screw.la

stupid.la

regret.la
dunno.la
wuteva.la
screw-it.la

talkcock.la
go-n-die.la
anything.la

come-on.la

In Malay
mai.la
jom.la
belah.la
pergi.la
betui.la

In Cantonese
keng.la
diu9lei.la
niamah.la --> reserved for Mr. Patrick Teoh

Born on the 4th of July

That's my old, old, old German pen-pal. Not old in age la, but in the years that we have kept in touch, since my very first letter to him. That was 15 years ago! Almost half a lifetime, man.

As time passes, of course we changed too. Our priorities are different now. We are still in touch, but from an average of 8 airmail letters a year, down to maybe 3 or 4 now, excluding e-mail.

I must say, it's not easy to find a long lasting pen-palship, but I am very thankful to have found him. Through the years, never once did he miss sending me birthday wishes and Season's greetings. It is indeed a very surprising trait in a guy.

We never met, and only talked once on the phone. I wonder if we will ever meet, or will we still write to each other when we are both married, have kids, grandkids, great grandkids.

We now each have a bagful of gifts, cards and letters containing our dreams, ambitions, aspirations, heartache, sorrow tales, been though the deaths of family members and pets, discussion on religion, politics, nation's policies, well.... nothing is too taboo.

I wonder if there's anyone else in the world as lucky to have found a "soul-mate" in a foreign land. He's more than enough reason for me to support Germany! GO! GO! GO! or should it be GOAL! GOAL!! GOAL!!!?

Tagged by _butt @ Meme of Doom

I've been tagged by _butt to do a meme, my 1st one, actually. Thanks for reading, taking the time to comment and tagging me, _butt.

While I do not believe in anything such as a perfect person, I'm just gonna do this in the spirit of blogging and I will try to tag 8 victims, although I don't know them personally hehehe

**RULES OF MEME OF DOOM**

- The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points about his/her perfect lover.
- Have to mention the gender of his/her perfect lover.
- Tag eight other victims to join this game and leave a comment on their blog.
- If you are tagged the second time.There is NO need to do this again.(i got tagged 3 times!)
- Lastly, most importantly, HAVE FUN DOING IT.

8 points about my perfect lover?
*huge sense of humour
*chivalrous
*intelligent
*macho
*clean-cut
*smells good
*taller & older than me (!)
*hopelessly devoted to me

Bonus (8 is NOT enough!):
*wealthy & generous
*virile GGGGrrrrrrrr

My perfect lover's gender?
Straight male, of course

My victims:
Chloe of Purpleism
Post Ur Naked Pic
Skyler
The Speaking Banana Gurl
Angel the Liu-Liu Gurl
Pianonee
Boringest
.eiChi

Left Outside Alone

Nothing has changed since my post on 5th May, 06 and on 6th May, 2006. I don't think I committed such a huge crime to be treated this way. You said I'm rude, I say, you are MEAN. Is it my fault that you can't take a surprise? Fuck you.

At first, it was painful, VERY. It's like losing a limb, worse than death. But gradually, I'm learning to let go. It's not easy but I learn to cope. I will survive, like I always do. I will rise above it all, eventually. After all, I've been deprived all my life. So what is another thing snatched away?

So what if you deprive me of your friendship?

Perhaps I had only imagined that you and I shared a special closeness. Perhaps I had only imagined that our friendship is strong enough to weather any turbulence. Perhaps our chemistry was all a farce. Ahhhaa silly me. Now I know, it's not too late, I suppose.

So, how long has it been? How much more time do you need? You've been cold since the F1 weekend, and stopped communication entirely since 17th April, 2006. Is it time to bury you in the corner of my heart?

Here's a song specially dedicated to you, Wanker!

Left Outside Alone - Anastacia

All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay. I don't feel safe

I Don't Feel Safe Oohhh

Left broken empty in despair
Wanna breathe can't find air
Thought you were sent from up above
But you and me never had love
So much more I have to say
Help me find a way

And I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone

I'll tell you
All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay. I don't feel safe
I need to pray

Why do you play me like a game?
Always someone else to blame
Careless, helpless little man
Someday you might understand
There's not much more to say
But I hope you find a way

Still I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone

I'll tell you
All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay I don't feel safe
I need to pray

oohhh ohhh Pray!

Heavenly father please save me (heavenly fathers Save me!)

oohhh oohhhh ohh

And I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone

Oohhhhh ohhhh

All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning Oh!
It's not okay I don't feel safe
I need toooo praayy!

Related posts:
1. Ladies' Affair 2006
2. Circle of Trust

Confession ~ I Was A School Bully Too

The recent news about secondary school girls fighting brought back memories of the time when I was a school bully.

I started to bully other pupils when I was in primary school. My victims were cry babies. They were those who cry for their mummies all the time. I really beh tahan when I see them like that, I had to make them cry more and more and that made me hate them more and more too.

Don't get me wrong, I never used physical force, definitely never slap or beat them up. Maybe the most was hair pulling. I'm not that stupid to leave marks on their body.

I was more into mental torture.

I was the terror kid of my school bus as well, until other road users, on different occasions, flagged down my bus driver and took my name down and wanted to report me to the school authorities.

I don't think they ever did, cos I was never summoned by the school headmistress to her office.

Funnily enough, I was the teacher's pet when I was in primary school. It helped when my Standard 6 class teacher moved to the house opposite my own.

I wasn't such a big bully anymore in secondary school. I changed for the better and also became a teacher's pet, but I still gave some of the teachers headache by arguing with them and standing up for the class whenever we were reprimanded by these unreasonable teachers.

All these are thanks to my own fucked up childhood. I guess I just can't help but to fuck up other people's life as well, terrorizing them on a daily basis.