SEVEN Months | ** An Anonymous Journal **

Friday, December 18, 2009

SEVEN Months

This 19th December (tomorrow), will be seven months since Snoopy has been incapacitated. Over these seven months, there has not been a day that I am happy about the situation. Even so, I know that when the time comes when Snoopy is no longer with us, I would feel lost. And really, after living seven months like this, I wouldn’t even know how to lead a “normal” life anymore.

Also, there is not a day that passes that I wonder if this is the correct thing to do. It pains me so much to see Snoopy like this having kept him since he was only three weeks old, yet I cannot kill him. I have no right to. My friends continue to say that I am selfish to hold on to him even in this condition but do they think that I WANT to hold on to him? Wouldn't it be better for me if I could reclaim my freedom and life?

Frankly, I don't know. I don't know if what I am doing is what I should be doing. I don't even know myself WHY this is happening. All I know is that I want this to be over as soon as possible. It sounds like I WANT Snoopy dead. Time can help me to recover from the mental anguish but I would not be able to regain the time that I have lost taking care of Snoopy or the years that have been shaved off my lifespan.


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