Recently, Abdul Razak Baginda *confessed* of his affair with the Mongolian. While I do not even want to attempt to analyse his side of the story since this involves politics of the second highest level, it got me thinking, can a woman completely forgive her wayward husband?
I personally know of a few ladies whose husbands had affairs outside and had children with the mistress.
Case A:
A man had an affair with a young lady. They had a son. Finally the wife (wives are the last to know) found out. She, with the help of her brother, forced him to sign over the house to her. It's a small single-storey terrace house, but, heck, it's still property.
The wife gave him the ultimatum of leaving the mistress. She is only willing to take in the son, but not the mistress. She wants the son because she has two daughters.
I wonder, can she bring up the child like her own together with her own daughters, without hatred, without prejudice?
Meanwhile, the mistress said they can have the son provided the man gives her a certain sum, which he couldn't, so they split up, with the mistress having custody of the son, and this couple and their two daughters remained as a family unit.
Now, the wife may have the husband by her side physically, but can she deny that things will never be the same again? I look at them, and they don't really talk to each other. They only existed side by side.
Case B:
A man had an affair with a lady and during the affair, he rented somewhere else to live and left his family without giving them any money. His son had to go to his office to beg for money to upkeep the family. The son even had to resort to stealing, but he was caught and he had to call up an adult friend to bail him out as his own father could not be reached.
This man did not even hide his affair. Anyway, to cut the story short, the son that he had with his mistress died in a mishap. He soon split up with the mistress. Naturally, whatever savings that he had previously had already been spent on her, so he doesn't have any money left. He still had a job, though.
He went home, and after much commotion, he was allowed to live in the house, but he was given the front room. You could say he was like a tenant in his house.
His wife and children all lived there as well but there is no interaction. He couldn't even watch TV while they were at home which means he has to sneak around in his own home.
And my question is, how could the wife's heart be so soft as to welcome him into the house. Wouldn't it be better without this heartless man?
Case C:
A man left his family for another woman. They lived happily and he fathered a few children. But this mistress is very cunning. She used his money and took his property. Later, this man found out that his mistress had a boyfriend.
Somehow this man got her to sign the house back under his name, and then he confronted her. She chose the boyfriend over this man and she left with him.
A few years later, this man fell ill due to old age. He did not have anyone to take care of him so he asked for his *first* wife to care for him which she did, until his last breath.
Wasn't she being overly generous already?
Case D:
A man went off to another country with his secretary. They had a daughter together. After some years, when the mistress had lived off the man enough, taking all his money, she abandoned him.
The extended family tried to bring him back into the life of his first family.
I was aghast. Why subject the wife to the pain of old wounds. It has been over thirty years already. Let bygones be bygones. Why care if the man is lonely, penniless or whatever? Don't they know that the wife is the one who suffers while the husbands go and enjoy their new life with a new woman?
What about all these children who grew up without a father? Some may be too young to hate their father, but the older ones almost never forgive him for subjecting them to such a life.
And there are many more unfortunate women facing the same scenario daily.
Anyway, back to my original question, will life ever be the same once the husband is found to be having an affair?
A lady I know had a short affair. Her guilt was so strong, she confessed to her husband who forced her to take various blood tests and then divorce her.
Why is it that the wife can be the forgiving one but men cannot?
I personally know of a few ladies whose husbands had affairs outside and had children with the mistress.
Case A:
A man had an affair with a young lady. They had a son. Finally the wife (wives are the last to know) found out. She, with the help of her brother, forced him to sign over the house to her. It's a small single-storey terrace house, but, heck, it's still property.
The wife gave him the ultimatum of leaving the mistress. She is only willing to take in the son, but not the mistress. She wants the son because she has two daughters.
I wonder, can she bring up the child like her own together with her own daughters, without hatred, without prejudice?
Meanwhile, the mistress said they can have the son provided the man gives her a certain sum, which he couldn't, so they split up, with the mistress having custody of the son, and this couple and their two daughters remained as a family unit.
Now, the wife may have the husband by her side physically, but can she deny that things will never be the same again? I look at them, and they don't really talk to each other. They only existed side by side.
Case B:
A man had an affair with a lady and during the affair, he rented somewhere else to live and left his family without giving them any money. His son had to go to his office to beg for money to upkeep the family. The son even had to resort to stealing, but he was caught and he had to call up an adult friend to bail him out as his own father could not be reached.
This man did not even hide his affair. Anyway, to cut the story short, the son that he had with his mistress died in a mishap. He soon split up with the mistress. Naturally, whatever savings that he had previously had already been spent on her, so he doesn't have any money left. He still had a job, though.
He went home, and after much commotion, he was allowed to live in the house, but he was given the front room. You could say he was like a tenant in his house.
His wife and children all lived there as well but there is no interaction. He couldn't even watch TV while they were at home which means he has to sneak around in his own home.
And my question is, how could the wife's heart be so soft as to welcome him into the house. Wouldn't it be better without this heartless man?
Case C:
A man left his family for another woman. They lived happily and he fathered a few children. But this mistress is very cunning. She used his money and took his property. Later, this man found out that his mistress had a boyfriend.
Somehow this man got her to sign the house back under his name, and then he confronted her. She chose the boyfriend over this man and she left with him.
A few years later, this man fell ill due to old age. He did not have anyone to take care of him so he asked for his *first* wife to care for him which she did, until his last breath.
Wasn't she being overly generous already?
Case D:
A man went off to another country with his secretary. They had a daughter together. After some years, when the mistress had lived off the man enough, taking all his money, she abandoned him.
The extended family tried to bring him back into the life of his first family.
I was aghast. Why subject the wife to the pain of old wounds. It has been over thirty years already. Let bygones be bygones. Why care if the man is lonely, penniless or whatever? Don't they know that the wife is the one who suffers while the husbands go and enjoy their new life with a new woman?
What about all these children who grew up without a father? Some may be too young to hate their father, but the older ones almost never forgive him for subjecting them to such a life.
And there are many more unfortunate women facing the same scenario daily.
Anyway, back to my original question, will life ever be the same once the husband is found to be having an affair?
A lady I know had a short affair. Her guilt was so strong, she confessed to her husband who forced her to take various blood tests and then divorce her.
Why is it that the wife can be the forgiving one but men cannot?
4 comments:
so drama..
maybe they just want to put some kind of normality back into life again, and it's always the wife who does that.
sad, isn't it.
Yes, it is always the woman who is giving in. Always gotten bullied, always wanting to keep the family as a whole. AS IF THE MAN CARES!
But then, most women, even today, are not financially independent, work also not much pay because of lower education, being discriminated at work, etc. It IS sad.
yor yor yor say men till so bad and women so nice, like women nvr cheats o =X
But still as long those are humans, this is inevitable lar cannot say men nia, women oso have de rite?
ask you all, i sure kena kill one =X
hmph.. EliteVillain... all these are true story lah. Men sure are bad :p :p :p
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