I have always known that I have a wild streak in me. Cannot believe that I almost did something that I know is wrong, but still wanted to put my head in. Yeah, it's wrong but it is soooo exciting. When this secret is out I would quiver and hope to die. It's no fun having shit hit the fan, I know. 

Yet, why still do it? It's going to be ugly, I know.... but I am so caught up with it. And when it didn't work up, and I did not do the deed, I felt disappointed and let down, and heaved a sigh of relieve! 

Strange, I am so strange. It's a heavy burden on my mind and shoulders....