I'm Seriously Upset | ** An Anonymous Journal **

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

I'm Seriously Upset

I received a job offer from an internet start-up company for RM4500 per month with accommodation provided for the first few months and use of a company car after work hours and on weekends with petrol consumption on myself. Although everyone tells me that the pay is good, I don't look at how much I earn but at the opportunity to be more independent. I would be away from my family for the first time and it would be a good thing for them and for me. We need to learn to grow apart from each other.

So I was very happy to have this opportunity even though I didn't even apply for a job and didn't expect it to come like this. The founder of the dot com start up invited me to visit his office to meet his team of people and I was agreeable. Of course I would have to make some sort of arrangements first before starting work, right?

Anyway, I told a good friend about it and he is totally against me working with this company. It upsets me a lot because it gives me a very bad feeling that he is poisoning my mind with all his negative talk and to me, he is killing the chance that have come my way.

All my life, I have had to bend backwards to accommodate people and because it's my nature to avoid confrontations, I do try to please everyone. However, once again, I am feeling as if I am being walked all over and although I may do what others tell me to do, I won't like it and will forever hold a grudge against that person for lost opportunities.

I remember many years ago, I had wanted to work in Singapore at a bank. Back it, it was a very popular thing to do. My father was against me going to Singapore and gave me plenty of poison words. He also stopped me from taking up an opportunity with Palace of the Golden Horses. I don't understand why, until today, that he was so selfish that he didn't let go of me when as a parent, he should have encouraged me and not thwart my chances. Those could have been turning points in my life.

And now, after one big cycle, after I thought that with the death of my pets, I didn't have the responsibility of caring for them anymore, I could finally be my own person, I CAN'T!


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